Hi gals, I promised you that I would be back with all the solutions (sounding a bit too much?), ok, most of the solutions for those getting married. Last blog ‘Getting Married?? And its arranged…and it is a joint family!!! Prepare your ‘mindbag’ first!’ was all about the importance of preparing your mind if you are getting into arranged marriage and would be leading your life with his whole family. Read it out first.
Don’t worry for it is not that all tough as I am making it (I always tend to make things complicated ;)) Follow some simple rules or train your mind for some simple things and it is done. For we all know that our conscious is all what we need to control as it is the guiding light for us. Let us start Gals:
1) Never Judge:
The thumb rule not only for your newly wedded life but also generally it is a very good way of staying out of trouble or at least preventing your mind from straining. Why? Because whenever you start judging, you either create a positive image or a very negative image. Having an image is just an image people, only your perception which might be right or might be not. And generally in such an environment of unknown people, you tend to think more of negative. This causes you to form grudges which gets converted to anger and if you are not good at venting it, you will definitely be getting frustrated and for sure pulling yourself towards stress. So don’t judge. Let go of things. Just don’t think that everyone is getting personal or doing things intentionally to you. You know what ‘ignorance is bliss’. Sometimes I just stop thinking immediately after a person taunts me or so. I just stop there and divert myself vowing to never think about that again. Simple isn’t it. You just need some conscious practice and done!:)
2) Never feel out of the place:
We all have these moments, feeling awkwardness in midst of new people. Not speaking much, feeling that you are an odd person out. Please don’t do this. Because this is the only time when you can get to know people around you and build a rapport with them. Speak with them, contribute your opinions, let them even know about you and your personality. Whoever you are and whoever they are, getting acquainted is the first step of getting used to. So blend with the environment. Laugh a lot with them. For a smile can do wonders!
3) Never think of what people will think about you:
Portraying an image of yourself something which you are not. Behaving according to others and that too when you just think they might be wanting you to behave that way is a total no no girls. Because this is gonna let them believe in your fake personality which you would not be able to carry on your shoulders for a very long time. Be the real you. Don’t let them expect of you which you are not.
4)Open up to your husband:
Yes a very important part, you need to open up to your husband about any problem you face during your initial days, he is the one who can truly help you and guide you. For now you both are into that relationship where you both need to take care of each other and support each other. If you don’t know him well enough, talking and observing is the key. Know him well for he is the one who is always gonna be for you.:)
5)Dress up Well:
Yes I have always stressed about importance of dressing and although you may think this is very out of the place,then please stop. You are wrong. Whatever be the case your dressing sense, how you carry yourself will not only make people fond of you but also you will feel a different kind of confidence within yourself. Just do it and see the difference.
6) Don’t carry disagreements and quarrels forever with you:
In Spite of all the above tips as I told in previous blog there are always gonna be villains in your life. So disagreements, restrictions, quarrels are bound to happen because ultimately you all are different persons ,different personalities. But what is needed is not only forgiveness but also forgetting the incidence. Just think that will you carry that grudge with you forever and hate you mother-in-law forever if same would have occurred with your own mother? So let go and again the key is acceptance, accepting that now they are your own and they are who they are.
7) Do not let go of your likings:
You are marrying and not sacrificing! Remember this for you have your own individual life to take care of as well. Take your own decisions after listening to all wisely. Never let go off you likings. Pursue your passion and do what you would love to do before marriage. This way you are gonna be happy, spreading your positivity everywhere around and I am sure one or the other day everybody will understand your choices.
8)Make your mother-in-law your best friend:
However hateful you may find her in starting, as I told she is a person of different personality and there are gonna be disagreements when there are 2 managers of same home. But let that skill of yours work and make her yours. Let her be close to you. Share with her and listen to her stories (for they will always be telling you one of theirs :)). Keep in mind that she is the most important woman in your husband’s life as well. Keep her close to you, and you are always gonna be connected to each other and maybe spending most of the time with each other, so isn’t it better to have friends with you rather you enemies for company whole of your life. If you are good to her she will never be too bad to you at least! That is all girls! Wishing you best of luck for your future! May you all be blessed with a wonderful and fun filled married life!